How do I loathe thee, let me count the ways

I was talking with a friend on mine last night about work and jobs in general. He is well aware of my disdain for my current employer, but he did not know the extent of it. So he asked me how much I despise being here. After explaining it to him I came up with three things I would rather do than be here.

In no particular order.

I would rather eat my own face. Really, I would gladly carve up my own skin and dine on it raw.

Have my head set on fire and then have it put out with a sledgehammer. This would also prove entertaining to others.

And last, but certainly not least.

I would rather watch the death rattle of my only child.

That is the top three, but I am sure I could come up with a few hundred more.